The Good, The Bad & the Pure Ugly

‘You’re so hot I’d ruin you’

A classic example of what online dating has to offer us modern women.

Needless to say this 19 year old with his back-to-front baseball cap & bling did not get a response.

I feel I have myself to blame… This is what comes from having the tagline ‘Make me laugh’. Some of the introductions were genuinely laughable & I congratulated a few people on their efforts. Others were just awful… these came from the mature gentleman.

How many of you have been confronted by the mockable chat-up line?

Annnd how many of you have secretly loved it?

Regardless of how many times the line has been used by said person to many different people, you still get the buzz in knowing they wanted to use it on you.

Something to note, ‘copy & paste’ jobs happen quite frequently in online dating for reasons of the following:

  • It’s quicker
  • It’s easier
  • You’ve already established your material & you’re proud of it so why not re-use?
  • You can blanket message a whole load of people… Someone HAS to respond
  • You’ve got a bet on with friends to see how many people fall for your repetitive charm

Having been signed up for online dating for nearly a year now, I’ve had a fair few opportunities to both laugh and cringe at the efforts…

  • ‘You’re so cute, I’m going to stick a copy of your profile on my fridge’ – Used twice!
  • ‘You’re so hot I’d ruin you’
  • ‘I’d be your stranger on a train’
  • ‘How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice!’
  • ‘Of all the desperate, ugly people, why are you on here?’
  • ‘Do you like to be in charge? Fancy being my dominatrix?’

And that’s just me. Friends of mine have had similar experiences:

  • ‘You’re a school teacher? Do all the kids perv on your legs Miss? ;)’
  • ‘You’re so cat-like, so alluring… I think you’ll age really well.’
  • After a rigorously brief overview of your profile, I wanted to let you know that I’ve already married and divorced you in my mind. Thanks for all the special memories.  PS You can keep the beach house in Florida. I just want back the dog and my DVDs. Sincerely, Your Ex-Hubby’
  • ‘Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile’
  • ‘I deeply regret to inform you that I have to bring it to your attention that you are way above the maximum standard in terms of looks for this site. You’re clearly a 9/10 & only 7/10 is allowed. Your account will be closed unless you reply with your name, favourite drink & favourite type of cuisine’ (We thought this was particularly clever however)

And the pure weird, found online and should be used to scare off the mighty odd:

  • ‘I would like to paint you green and spank you like a naughty avocado’

And sometimes, you just need to use a little line of your own to grab the attention of the boy you like:

  • ‘Either you were in {insert bar name} tonight or this is a really bad chat-up line’

As it stands, it was them and it worked pretty well for me… But that’s for a later post 🙂

Anyways, enough of the chatting up & onto Date 2….

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