Let the Great Online Cake-Off begin…


So, the Great British Bake Off is back on our screens tonight and as a cake lover I couldn’t be more excited. As is the way with my wandering brain, I started to question… Can online daters be cakergorised?

I would say, without a shadow of a doubt, yes.

I would say I was a cheesecake (any flavour); full of cheesy puns, smooth when I need to be, sweet in the right places with a crunch that will either leave you loving me or cursing me. 

Double Chocolate Fudge Cake

This is the good looking dater who has a naughty side, someone who isn’t afraid to indulge in the finer things, throw out a tacky chat-up line or two but know they are top notch and you need them because they’re tasty. Only trouble is, you might just regret your decision when you’re sick to the stomach later on.

Madeira Cake

This is the surprisingly plain, trusty dater who will never let you down. They say the right things, act as smoothly as they can but don’t really stand out from the crowd as defined. You can pretty much do whatever you like to a Madeira Cake, add a little to it or just settle with its simplicity and reliability. You can never go wrong with this… Unless you’re the type to want someone with their head in the air and no graces, then the Chocolate Fudge is probably for you.

Victoria Sponge Cake

Like the Madeira, it’s a trusty cake but it has that little something extra through the middle. More substance and more to look forward to as you make your way through it. It’s sweet and surprising and gives you an overwhelming sense of smuggery. Satisfaction is guaranteed and does not try in anyway to pretend it’s a Chocolate Fudge Cake.

Fairy Cake

Bit questionable, slightly effeminate but still pretty awesome, the Fairy Cake is something you can’t quite work out or put your cherry on. It’s always well presented, with a little bit of flair and enough decoration to keep it questioning. Everyone loves a good fairy..cake.

Carrot Cake

Slightly more exotic, this is something that some people just can’t get their heads around. It’s good to look at & it’s amazing to taste. You wonder where the catch is? It’s well iced and the nuttiness is something to be laughed at but desired. When you find yourself a Carrot Cake, it will be strange at first but you’ll fall for it a treat. 

Obviously there are many more types out there but these are the few I came across in my dating adventure. 

Can you work out which you are? Or what your favourite is? 

I’ll be sat, with my delicious Carrot Cake, seeing what the Bake Off has to offer but ultimately being more than smug with what I’ve got.